


A visit from your friendly neighborhood phantom thief!

by cafne (tateragi)



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Detective Saihara Shuichi, M/M, Phantom Thief AU, Phantom Thief Oma Kokichi, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27378400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tateragi/pseuds/cafne
Summary: A sick Shuichi Saihara gets an unlikely visitor in the middle of the night.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 324





	A visit from your friendly neighborhood phantom thief!

The sound of a grunt jolts Shuichi up from his slumber. A feat, considering how much of a heavy sleeper the detective was. It only further proves that his condition right now isn't the best for confronting a home invasion.

His eyes frantically scanned the room for the source of the sound until they finally landed on a silhouette in front of his now-open window.

Was this it? Was he really gonna get robbed? Or murdered? On the one day he's incapable of even struggling back?

"Oopsie, did I wake you? I'd say sorry, but that would be a lie since that works out just fine for me!"

The sound of a familiar horse-like giggle shouldn't have calmed his nerves as much as it did.

"Oh... it's you," the detective's voice sounded weak in his own ears. He reached over to turn on the lamp on his bedside table, faintly illuminating the room and the intruder with an orange light.

"Well, that's certainly not the way to greet someone who just broke into your house, mister detective!" The thief clad in white said in a voice too loud for Shuichi's comfort. The bluenette winced and seeming to notice this, the thief's voice softened to a more comfortable volume when he spoke his next words, although still sounding as cheeky as ever. "I could be here to kill you, you know!"

"No, I, uh, I highly doubt that," Shuichi chuckled under his breath. "What are you doing here?"

Shuichi probably shouldn't be striking up such a casual conversation with the thief he's been chasing for the last half of a year. He probably should be calling the police instead, especially since the elusive phantom thief apparently now knows where he lives. Alas, his mind is too hazy to think or panic properly. He'll let tomorrow's him regret this in the morning.

"Wellll," the thief drawled. "I noticed a certain detective wasn't there for my heist last night and some other rando detective took his place instead." He shook his head in disappointment. "Of course, they were no match for _moi_ \- couldn't even get a glimpse of me! No way would I let myself be chased by someone else, so here I am to find out exactly why my beloved detective is slacking off! How mean of you, leaving me alone like that!" He sobbed, but not in an obnoxiously loud manner like Shuichi had expected. (Still mindful of his condition? How surprisingly considerate...)

 _That's strange._ Shuichi's head was still buzzing but it didn't stop his mind from analyzing the thief's words. He moved his hand to cup over his mouth in thought. If there was a heist, the others should have at least let him know, sick or not. "That's a lie."

"Aww, even when you're sick, you can still see through me," the thief pretended to swoon and let himself fall on Shuichi's bed, who scooted off a bit to the side to make room. If the thief had fallen on his legs, that's another part of his body that'll hurt and he didn't need any more. "Yup, that was a lie! There was no heist, and our plans for the night went to waste. It's just not the same without you!" He said it in a joking manner, but the detective sensed a hint of honesty in those words.

Actually, Shuichi did recall a calling card from the previous heist. Was that for tonight? Did the thief really call off his plans because Shuichi wasn't there?

Shuichi was glad to have his fever as an excuse as to why his face was burning red. He coughed. "Y-yeah, I got a bit sick."

"Must be a big deal if they're making your workaholic self actually take a break from work."

Shuichi choked on his own spit, causing him to cough even more. "Th-that's! I, uh- I'm not a workaholic."

The thief rolled over to his side to stare pointedly at Shuichi. The other is surely rolling his eyes behind his mask. "Right, and I'm not the leader of a secret evil organization. Geez, Shumai, are you so out of it to be lying like that? I hate liars!"

He forced down the small smile threatening to form on his face at the familiar nickname. The thief had taken to using that nickname on him since he revealed he knew the detective's name.

" _How could I not know the name of the detective tasked to capture me, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part?_ " The thief had once said, snickering all the while.

Shuichi had been flustered at the thief quoting wedding vows then, and he still is now. _Guess the sickness part didn't work out so well._

"R-right," Shuichi fidgeted with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. "You still haven't answered my question. What are you doing here..?" He doesn't want to pass on his sickness to the thief if he could help it. The thief doesn't seem to have any plans on leaving anytime soon, though.

"I'm here to nurse my beloved back to health, of course!" 

"H-huh?!" Shuichi stammered as he watched the thief get off the bed and away from him, grabbing a plastic bag he must have left on the floor when he entered sneakily through the window. _Did he bring something... for me?_

The thief hopped back to the side of the bed and sat on Shuichi's desk chair. He took out a thermos from the bag, a bottle of water, a bowl and a plastic spoon, and set them down on his table.

Noticing the thief's intentions, Shuichi quietly asked, "Why are you doing this?" The thief's actions were always confusing, and this was no exception. Were their relationship close enough to be doing something like this? No... he's just the guy chasing after a criminal. He can't understand why said criminal is here, in his bedroom, and seeming to actually want to take care of him.

"I can't exactly go back to doing heists if my detective isn't feeling well, right?" The thief poured some of the thermos' contents into the bowl. "So I'm here to make you get better soon so we can get back to business asap! I've got too many mouths to feed to take too long of a break, nishishi."

"...You don't really need me to be there on every heist, though." Shuichi replied, watching the thief blow on the hot soup. "Wouldn't you rather not have me around so you can carry out your heists?"

The thief snorted. "Ever thought that maybe I enjoy them much more because Saihara-chan's there? The stealing part doesn’t excite me as much as being pursued by you, y’know!”

"H-huh?" 

The thief doesn't allow Shuichi time to say anything more eloquent by quickly lifting a spoon to his mouth. "Now, say aah~!"

Shuichi looked at the spoon being held up to him and back to the thief. "You can't actually think I'll-"

"Shush, mister detective. Swallow that pride of yours and just let me take care of you," the thief tilted his head to the side. "Got it?"

 _I'm still not going to say 'aah.'_ Shuichi furrowed his eyebrows and reluctantly opened his mouth.

The thief beamed and gently lifted the spoonful of soup into the detective's mouth. "Good boy!" 

Shuichi's face flushed brightly at the hand now patting his hair. _No, I'm not actually enjoying this. This is just the fever. This is just the fever. This is just the fever._ He repeated like a mantra in his head.

"I-I can do it myself," Shuichi cleared his throat. He'll actually die if this keeps up.

"Aww, I was hoping to spoon feed you some more..." The thief sniffled for a few seconds before going back to his cheerful demeanor. "It's an honor to be fed like this by yours truly but if you insist on passing up this _wonderful_ opportunity, that's on you, my beloved!" 

"Ah, I'll make sure to regret this decision in the future, then." Shuichi gave the other a small smile. "Thank you, by the way."

The thief giggled. "No problem-o, Saihara-chan!"

The soup was still hot, but not enough to burn his tongue. Shuichi lightly blew to cool it down before taking a few more spoonfuls into his mouth. The broth bursted with flavor. Too bad he was too sick for his taste buds to actually taste anything, though. But he kept on eating. It would be rude not to when the other man had come by just to get some food into his stomach.

 _Huh... I guess I haven't eaten for this whole day_ , Shuichi mindlessly wondered. _Did he know about that?_

Shuichi looked at the thief, who had his arms propped up on his desk and his chin resting on his hands. The thief tilted his head in acknowledgment when he noticed Shuichi's staring. "You really don't let your brain rest even when you're sick, huh."

Shuichi, once again, choked. Was it so obvious for the thief to see whenever he's deep in thought?

"To answer your question, yes."

"Ah!"

The thief brought a finger in front of his lips, or well, his mask, to be more specific. "Nishishi, did you forget I could read minds, Saihara-chan?" He moved to lace his fingers behind his head in a more relaxed pose. "Juust kidding! You have this look on your face when the wheels in your head are turning, and I can see you wanting to bring your hand to your mouth- aha!" He pointed at the bluenette. "There's your signature thinking pose!"

Shuichi quickly whipped his hand that unconsciously made its way to his chin back down to his side. Damn. "I didn't realize you watched me enough to know my mannerisms..."

"We've known each other for almost a year, Shuichi, it's kinda hard not to notice." Shuichi grew quiet at the sudden use of his first name and the uncharacteristic seriousness that befell upon the thief. "The same way it's hard not to notice how much you're overworking yourself.

"You really shouldn't be pushing yourself so hard, my beloved." The thief's hand lingered before gently taking the forgotten spoon from Shuichi's clenched hand, as well as the cooling bowl of soup. "You even collapsed at work this time," he lifted a spoonful of broth to the detective's lips, who ate it without much protest. "And have been bedridden for several days now. I know. I've been visiting your office. I've kept count."

The thief put down the spoon and sighed quietly. "...You can't help people and solve cases if you're dead."

Silence. Shuichi doesn't have anything to say to that. He knows it's true, his friends have told him as much, and he himself knows it. But it was surprising to hear it from the person sitting in front of him.

Shuichi searched the thief's mask for any emotion, but of course, it portrayed nothing but a wink and a smile. He wanted to see what kind of face the thief was making behind his mask. What did his eyes look like? What color are they? What do they look like when he laughs? When he cries? When he's serious? ...What kind of expressions does he make when he's doing his heists? When he's being chased? When he's sitting here, in this low light, expressing his concerns? He was being strangely vulnerable and was close enough for Shuichi to reach out and grab his mask, but that's not... that's not the way he wants to find out the thief's identity, and it's not how the thief wants it to go either.

Their relationship is strange, the two of them. A criminal and a detective. Playing a constant game of cat and mouse, a dance between the two of them, trysts under the stars. Enemies, but also unlikely friends.

"You're an enigma, phantom thief," Shuichi said. "You told me you're here to make me get back to work faster, and yet you're also telling me to stop working so much."

"Hey, there's a difference, you know!" The other man protested. "You enjoy our games as much as I do."

Shuichi fought back a smile. He can't deny that the nights when he was chasing the thief were the nights he enjoyed the most, the nights where he felt the most free. It was to the point that he couldn't even call those nights as work, even though the paperwork from the mornings post-heist says otherwise.

"And I'm not telling you to stop working completely," the thief continued. "I'm just telling you to take care of yourself more, give yourself more free days to have fun! Go tell your boss to go fuck himself and do his job as the Chief of Police instead of dumping all the work on you, that demon... except for the phantom thief case, of course! That one's for your eyes only~!"

Shuichi chuckled weakly. "Aha.. I'll, um, try my best."

The thief hummed. "I'm not sure if I really believe you, workaholic." He jumped from his seat and leaned towards Shuichi, a pinkie finger held up on one hand. "Pinkie promise, Shumai! Promise you won't overwork yourself again to the point of collapsing!"

The detective stared at the thief for a while before smiling softly and holding his own pinkie up, hooking it against the other's. "There. I promise."

The shorter man giggled. "Sure sure~!! I'll hold you to that promise. Otherwise..." his voice took on a quieter tone, ominous enough to make a chill run down Shuichi's spine. "My organization will come after you."

Shuichi couldn't help it, he laughed. "I know your organization is non-violent, Thief. If you're worried about me dying from overwork, your organization coming to kill me from breaking that promise is counterproductive."

"I don't mean it like that!" Shuichi couldn't see his face under the mask, but he's sure the other is pouting. "They'll just be there to... _take care_ of you."

Shuichi laughed at the double meaning. "Well, I'll be careful then. One clown taking care of me is enough."

"Right, you wouldn't want a group of clowns watching you while you sleep! They're _my_ clowns, but I'm sure that's the stuff of nightmares for you," the thief snickered. "Anyways, Saihara-chan, are you going to stay like this, or what? Not that I'm complaining, but if you wanted physical contact with me so much, you could just hold my hand instead of just our pinkies!"

Shuichi sputtered, looking at their connected pinkies and immediately letting go. "S-sorry, I didn't even notice." 

The thief waved his hand with a "don't mind it," but Shuichi kept looking at the thief's hand and back down to his own palm.

"I just realized... that's the first time I've ever touched you, isn't it," Shuichi murmured. "You've always been slightly out of reach. Whenever I got close to you, you would always slip through my fingers." He looked back at the thief and met his eyes through the slits in the mask. "I've always thought that the first time I'd ever get to touch you would be when I catch you."

The thief hummed. "Well then, detective," he leaned closer to Shuichi and carefully took his hand in his, intertwining their fingers together. "Memorize this, my beloved. You won't be getting this opportunity again, not for a long while. Nishishi, I'm not exactly an easy catch."

Shuichi gulped and gave an experimental squeeze to the other's hand, surprised to get a squeeze back. The thief's hand was... surprisingly warm. 'Memorize this,' he had said? Yeah. Yeah, he'll definitely remember this. This warmth. This realness.

He circled his thumb over the other's knuckles. "Yeah... you're always three steps ahead of me. But one of these days," he shot the thief a smile. "I'll definitely catch you."

Shuichi couldn't see the face of the thief under his mask, but he liked to think that he also smiled back.

**Author's Note:**

> A few days later, Shuichi received a note similar to a certain thief's calling card in his office. If his colleagues saw him smiling at the card, they didn't say anything.
> 
> "How cruel of you, mister detective, getting me sick too! I'm out of commission for another few days and my 10k starving organization members only have you to blame if they decide to turn to cannibalism >:( "  
> \- Phantom Thief


End file.
